#i got covid for christmas so this is what I've been doing to pass the time while quarantining

[void-critters]

just yr average game of dungeons & dumbasses

[never-wednesday]

Hey its a Lil late in the month but this disability pride month I wanna talk about long covid. I also have chronic pain and all sorts of worms in my brain but I've been dealing with that forever. So we're talking about the new stuff. Putting a readmore because I'm talking about what my experience being sick with covid was like and it's probably unpleasant to read.

It's December of 2022 and I work retail while I'm home from school for winter break. I mask up every time I leave the house, including for work. My parents don't. My father talks about covid not being a big deal. He caught it last year and it was a mild cold for him. He says "i ate lunch with someone who had covid last week and im fine!" My mother catches covid a week after that conversation. I test and am seemingly fine despite symptoms of a cold, and then three days later (one of those days was a full 8hr shift at work where I was worn ragged because it's almost christmas. I also got heat exhaustion because the AC was busted and I live in TX.) I feel the worst I have felt in ages. My mom insists that my dad takes me to get tested for the flu, and I schedule a covid test while I'm at it. My covid test comes back positive.

For the next week I am bedbound, only able to sit up enough to try to eat something and only able to stand up long enough to get myself to and from the bathroom. I sleep through the days when I can get the dayquil down, and cough through the nights when I can't get the nyquil down. I hallucinate when im tired. One of those nights I swear I talk to god. My brain is fogged and it hurts to breathe. I am worried I will need to be hospitalized because I can't seem to keep any water in my system. It's a miracle that I can write instructions for my father to cook ramen for me. I can only drink the broth. One morning I try to take dayquil to soothe my throat and I vomit. My stomach is empty and I stand over the sink wretching.

It feels like a miracle when I recover. Christmas day my symptoms mostly clear up and I'm able to sit up long enough to use my computer, something I was unable to do for the past week. I test negative, my second best Christmas present that year. The first is the Elden Ring soundtrack on vinyl. I am elated that I made it put the other end.

A week later my friend comes from a few cities away to visit for a few days. We go shopping one afternoon, spend a few hours standing around at the local game store looking at dice and miniature plastic dragons. We get home at 6pm. I collapse into bed and wake up 3 hours later. I talk to my doctor about it in January, she says it should go away over time. Six months maximum.

I spend my spring semester exhausted. I start using a cane to make sure I can walk across campus. I'm thankful that many of my friends are also disabled because they understand when I need to ask people to slow down, or bail because of my fatigue. Many of the abled people in my life do not understand. One day I go out to a museum, a thing I am excited to do. When I get home at 4pm I make myself popcorn, then collapse into bed. I can't walk to the sink without my cane, I can barely get out of bed. This is what I have to adjust to.

Six months pass. The fatigue is not gone. I am home for summer break, and I try talking to my parents about my fatigue. They don't understand. I talk to my doctor. She is convinced it's depression symptoms. My mental health is largely the best it's been in years- I've been in treatment for months now and it is helping.

It's been about seven months now. I am not receiving treatment, nor will my doctor acknowledge that I have long covid. She has relented into testing for physical things. I got a CT scan, and have a sleep study scheduled for when I get back from visiting family in August. Depending on what these turn up and how my doctor reacts I am preparing to find a new doctor. I am not excited about this, because I like my doctor. But if she refuses to acknowledge that what has happened to me is likely covid and therefore will not treat me I will find someone else.

I don't really have a moral here beyond please mask up, get vaccinated, etc. Even if covid doesn't fuck you up it might fuck up someone you pass it to. Or even worse, it can kill the immunocompromised people around you. Please have compassion for the people around you. My father, who is a loving and caring man, brought this illness home to me. It wasn't out of malice, but it still has affected my life for probably the rest of my life.

[dearmrsawyer]

had a v nice time watching xmen at brother's gf's house, its the first time i've been to her house, she has 100 cats and i got to meet them all <33 we ordered indian and my dish was sooooo good. i'm back home now, it's almost 1:30 so i need to try and get some sleep. i've been sleeping really badly for a long time now, i think its just a side effect of everything i've been carrying, i have never been a very good sleeper but i used to be a heavier sleeper. i've been waking up at least four or five times every night for the last few months, sometimes it takes me a couple of hours to get back to sleep because my mind starts turning. sometimes i don't go back to sleep. hopefully its late enough that i can pass out properly. i need to do something about all the tension in my body, i don't know if i should see a physio or if i need a psychological release. years ago i remember we had some sort of couselling support available through work where we'd get a few free sessions, i'm thinking about asking HR if that arrangement is still in place. i don't want to talk to anyone but i probably should. i just keep thinking about how nonna and nonno caught covid in novemeber and i couldn't help mum take care of them because i needed to stay away, and then mum caught covid in december and i couldn't help her because i needed to stay away, and then mum started having heart troubles before christmas and had to wait two months for her procedure, and she took herself to the hospital in the middle of the night over a dozen times during those months because she felt so bad and i wasn't sure if she was coming home, and on new years day nonna woke up in pain and my brother, who is the strongest, couldn't help us move her around because he was away with his girlfriend for a week, and then mum had her procedure and nonna went back to hospital while i had a friend staying with us, and nonna has been in a lot of discomfort and hasn't left her bed since she came back from hospital a month ago, so taking care of her has been very, very hard. and i don't know how i'm supposed to have handled all of that, but i think i haven't handled it at all. i think i've mostly felt like i was suffocating. i feel like i haven't been able to breathe on a lot of days, there's so much stress in my throat constantly. there have been a lot of days where i just. want to run away. i feel so many things and i feel guilty about all of them. nonna is on a lot of medication right now, we think that we are most likely in the end days. what i need to do is go to sleep, and wake up, and live through the day, and the next, and just, survive this chapter.

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

So, because I was looking at the original FNAF trilogy on the PlayStation Store on my PS5 and listening to "Salvaged" and "Another Five Nights" a few times. I'm listening to "Another Five Nights" right now. I want to talk about FNAF3 and it's...place in the timeline. I'm not going to be talking about a theory (Yet we will mention theorized years for FNAF1) or the story. But more so, about my personal feelings on the "30 years later" aspect of the game.

I just want to admit that I like FNAF3 and despite liking the previous two games. It was this game that got me into the FNAF fandom. And going by the possible timeline. This is the first FNAF game taking place with "Modern times" compared to FNAF 1 and 2.

And to this day, despite there have been other years theorized that FNAF1 takes place in. Such as 1992, 1999, or whatever year it could take place in. The most popular theorized year (Thanks to Matpat) is 1993. And if we go by this logic, FNAF3 takes place in 2023.

Also, I think we're likely pass the possible date and time the story or well, "Fazbear's Fright" was around because I can't see a horror attraction opening during the month of Thanksgiving or Christmas. Unless the people behind it were that insane. And we've recently passed Halloween. Back to the point, we basically and finally just got through the original FNAF trilogy.

I want to admit this. When I was younger when the game was still fresh, but even years later. The idea of FNAF3 taking place that far in the future or to me, it was far. It bothered me.

Like, I totally get the fact we stay in the building and the people behind the attraction tried to make it as "Authentic as possible". But the fact that a FNAF game takes that far into the future. A future where...flying cars might be possible, where tech is much more advanced. Okay, I'm sounding silly, I know.

There are other reasons why I disliked the decision to make it 30 years later. Because I felt like that seemed way too far for the story to go that far into the future. Including what about the character we play as? Or what about the other characters? But alias, this has to do with theories.

And there was the fact I was scared of the future. Like...it was weird imagining such a game taking place within that time period...

But now, 2023 is nearly done. I live in a rural area where I swear, and I've joked/talked about it before. You could literally film a Texas Chainsaw Massacre film in my area. Or maybe a Friday the 13th or Halloween film. And while technically has advanced and I have a PS5 now. Which is truly a next system that really impressed me. The future...doesn't seem as futuritistc as I thought it would be.

Also, the fact we went through the COVID pandemic...

But now these days...I realized I have nothing to be scared about concerning the year 2023...I mean, we have some shitty stuff that need to be dealt with around the world, and the FNAF movie was released recently.

So, yeah, I can now easily imagine FNAF3 taking place in modern day when you think about it. It's finally gone through it's time frame.

[soshhy]

I don't usually post personal stuff but hey... Storytime: how wangxian saved my Christmas.

It's a couple of days before Christmas 2020. The Alpha strain of covid is spreading across the UK. London is on lockdown, my plan to see my family for the first time in 6 months is dashed by the sudden new regulations. My flatmate doesn't do Christmas. The rules for meeting people from other households say you can see one person at a time, outdoors, at a distance of two metres, for exercise only.

I'm feeling pretty down.

I'm sitting on a bench in my local park, in the freezing cold, with my giant coat on and my laptop on my knees because I can't be stuck in my flat for another minute. And I'm writing.

I'm writing about the park with its weird straw sculptures, and the birds on the little lake, and the cafe (currently closed because of covid but wow, their cardamom buns are amazing) and how on a wintery day it's quiet and empty.

(It's not quiet and empty. It's bustling with people because there's nowhere else to go. But it should be.)

And because The Untamed has been my lifeline throughout the pandemic, I'm writing about wangxian.

I write about Wei Ying and Lan Zhan walking the paths around the lake, getting coffee at the cafe, reading the signs about the water birds, and feeling all the excitement and nervousness and joy of a first date with the person they don't yet know will be theirs forever. I write the cutest, fluffiest, most romantic, least angsty story I've ever written. (I write a lot of fluff, so that's saying something.)

Suddenly it's not so bad.

I write that story in the park, and I write it at home on my lonely Christmas day. It's the second part in a series of cheerful silliness. When I post it I think about putting an author's note saying how it was written, how miserable I was, and how it helped so much. But I don't. Because out there are people who need exactly what I needed - a fluffy escape from all the shit going on. I just put a little note about how the fic is dedicated to my local park. It's my secret how when I'm walking round and round that lake because there's nowhere else to go, I'm looking at the cafe where wangxian got coffee, and the place where they fed the ducks, and the place where Wei Ying got scared by a dog - the same place they had their first kiss. And it's really not so bad.

My friend loses her dad to covid the day after New Years. Thousands more people lose their lives, pointlessly, meaninglessly, alone, with nobody but nurses to hold their hands. I find myself thinking about death the whole time. I go back on anti-anxiety meds. I'm struggling.

Over the next few weeks I write three more ridiculously cute, fluffy fics in that series, and I get comments with squeals and awws. The world is miserable but sometimes I'm not. And I'm helping a few hundred other people out there not be miserable too, just for a few minutes.

So now it's Christmas 2022. I'm visiting my family. Covid isn't over but the world seems to have forgotten. And it feels like it's time to tell the void what those stories meant, how having the escape of fanfic was such a huge support. I'm so glad I didn't write that author's note. I can reread those stories and not remember unless I want to. The only reminder I have is that when I walk around the lake, when I pass the signs about water birds, when I go to that cafe, I get a little bit of the happiness that I felt in a really hard time.

So, thank you fanfic. And thank you to all the people who commented and kudosed my Love Cats series two years ago. If you read this far, maybe you'll have some idea how much you meant to me.

[reneesbooks]

hellooooo just checking in since I saw you post (no pressure to answer this tho!!) How have you been? :D

the way my ass forgot to answer this for like four days.....smh at myself

hello love <3 i have been bad. overall. but getting better! took a 3 month break from tumblr due to work and the overwhelming flood of antisemitism that was suddenly on here. my personal life took a dive for similar reasons. one of my kitties passed very suddenly; we didn't even know she was that sick until we took her to the vet and he told us she was too far gone. my synagogue had a bomb threat so I stopped going. my union nearly put out an antisemitic statement regarding the war and only didn't bc me and the 5 other jews that work for the district begged them not to bc it would directly endanger us, especially those of us with students who are politically active (hi secondary ed!!) considering the district does absolutely nothing to keep violent kids out of our classes. that was officially the worst zoom call I've ever been in. I got covid during the middle of a work trip and had to go home early so I lost 2 days of bonus pay AND had covid. i think i was at work maybe 10 days of october and 1 of those days i had to go home early bc i had a nervous breakdown during my lunch.

however!! november and december have been a slow uphill. got some mental health treatment while i was quarantined, wrote a TON and have what can almost be called a complete draft of lacuna, worked my ass off at work to make up for all the substitute fuck-ups and finish the trimester. got through my first real evaluation and only got docked points for having chairs on top of tables (not that i'm like. mad about it.) the trimester ended on a high note and i'm teaching sewing right now which is basically 50% social-emotional learning (meditation and hippie shit for those of you that aren't in education) so that the 13-year-olds don't rage quit so it's the most relaxing fucking thing. the bomb threats at my synagogue stopped in time for me to go to the hanukkah services and i celebrated 4 days of nonstop christmas with that side of my family. we're on winter break until the end of this week and I am actually looking forward to the start of this year (manifesting SO hard).

so. tldr, rollercoaster, baby.

hope you have been doing well! <3 i know i have SO many tags to catch up on lol

[coffinofconfections]

So mom and dad came over today after I got laundry done. I've been stressed since before the holidays, and really symptomatic, but just yesterday I found out my case manager, who I like a lot and who has been the best I've had, is moving to a different position to work with kids. Because my treatment center is understaffed, I may be two-three months without a case manager, meaning, I go that long without transportation or help, and I can't drive or afford much, and I live in the country.

So today when I got home, after not being honest with my case manager like I wanted to be after telling him I was fine, mom called while I was in the shower. I got out and called her back, and she and dad were in the area shopping for groceries. They eventually came over. I felt every nerve in my body screaming before they got here because I just did not want them here. I get so confused because when they come over together they're goofy and kind and talkative. And mom brought a Christmas present for me, a few things, so now I'm all confused again and feeling guilty for wanting to go no-contact.

I'm also terrified of catching COVID, and I was just out at a super busy grocery store yesterday, a ridiculously busy laundromat today also with no one wearing a mask at all but me, and then mom and dad came over, and mom won't get anymore vaccines and she doesn't wear masks, and works retail so she's around all the illnesses.

I just have to let a week pass and then if I'm okay I'll not be so scared I caught COVID from anyone. But again, I'm all confused after my parents left because everything is fine when I was getting mixed signals.

Mom's behavior just doesn't match up with past behavior, and sometimes it all contradicts so I get so confused. She'll do things like not respond or ghost me, which used to mean she was mad or about to blow up on me in the past, but this time things are fine and I'm so tired of this.

Maybe my parents are just trying to find peace and stuff, but when they ignore me or refuse to communicate or keep me updated on things in the family when I explicitly ask just says one thing while they do another. They spent so many years of my life treating me like complete shit in between the good stuff, and now it's all changed and I want to break down and cry because I'm so fucking confused.

Things might be fine for them now and it's all peace and love for us in their minds, but I can't just erase the many years of my life, up until literally SEVEN years ago, of them being abusive. What do I do with all of this??? Why can't I just move on and accept that things are just suddenly good now? Why does it affect me worse when they act like everything is okay?

[bearpillowmonster]

1. Baymax. Chuckie from Rugrats. Grumpy Bear

2. Lighter but I do like the strike.

3. No, I use the fan, too loud outside.

4. Jackelope.

5. Ender Blue.

6. Because it felt good for a little bit.

7. Neither.

8. None, I'm a savage in other ways.

9. Don't drink coffee. As far as tea, it depends on the flavor, I drink 50/50.

10. I'm against murder but the rich don't need to exist.

11. Draw, write, read, game.

12. Sunny so far.

13. Like 15 minutes ago.

14. Not the smell but the trail it leaves behind.

15. No.

16. Yep.

17. Both, I got 20,20

18. Suave Detangler (yes, the kids stuff) it's the only thing that keeps my hair from sticking up.

19. No.

20. Both, if it's specific like orange soda then that, if it's general then pop.

21. I have toys, first build-a-bear and such

22. You can't typecast me. I'm an enigma.

23. Sucks but hot drinks are good and I like some of the shirts I get to wear, I'm a fiend for jackets.

24. Well my rooftop has a bunch rocks on it so probably picking pebbles out of our ass. But I have a nice view of the mountain from here.

25. Ew.

26. Depends on the day. I think a lot about conversations with my dad and what I could possibly say in those situations.

27. About 8, my body is so used to my work schedule that I normally wake up unintentionally about the same time every day.

28. Figurative or literal? Literal, yes, sometimes, during covid it was for sure but now it's pretty settled in my area.

29. Hot to the point it makes me nauseous

30. No, I was raised right with that.

31. Dunno because yesterday a car swerved to miss me on this wet wasteland of a road and I couldn't get my heart to calm down, I tried all different types of songs.

32. I did...somebody ruined it.

33. I wish I could take "adventure" more literal but I went to work at a different branch yesterday then went to their mall. You could tell I haven't been out in a while, gawking at everything like the water fountain and cotton candy vending machine.

34. A lot, actually. Life and Death from Steven Universe is a good one.

35. EST

36. Three, well changed twice, three different usernames.

37. My one friend from middle school. We don't see each other often but we message now and again on Facebook.

38. None.

39. Only Chap Stick (not that it helps)

40. It's only 10 am, slow down, I'll get to that in like another 15 lmao.

41. Tea. I stopped using spoons but I used to do 3 spoons of sugar.

42. Insta but I barely post

43. Health forbids it bur before they werent bad as long as that wasn't their only flavor.

44. Nobody because I think that's funny, you get a free pass and never use it.

45. I've mentioned it like 3 times this whole questionnaire.

46. The Toy That Saved Christmas.

47. "No." Telling someone not to mess with my Tears of the Kingdom.

48. Never. Health forbids it, plus it's on my list of stuff that has too much history in my family. If they got addicted and had problems then chances are, I will too. Plus anything someone peer pressures you into, can't be good.

49. Haven't tried in a while but I have, just not a lot of jumps.

50. Yep, anytime. 😘

here’s weirder asks

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

lighter or matches?

do you leave the window open at night?

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

what color are your eyes?

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

would you slaughter the rich?

favorite extracurricular activity?

what kind of day is it?

when was the last time you ate?

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

can you drive?

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

what hair products do you use?

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

do you say soda or pop?

something you’ve kept since childhood?

what type of person are you?

how do you feel about chilly weather?

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

perfume/body spray or lotion?

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

do you wear a mask?

how do you like your shower water?

is there dishes in your room?

what type of music keeps you grounded?

do you have a favorite towel?

the last adventure you’ve been on?

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

what’s your timezone?

how many times have you changed your url?

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

a soap bar that smells good?

do you use lip balm?

did you have any snacks today?

how do you take your coffee?

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

can you remember what happened yesterday?

favorite holiday film?

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

can you skip rocks?

can i tag you in random stuff?

[its-all-papaya]

WAIT I DIDNT LNOW YOU POSTED AN ASK GAME ive been at work all day and off Tumblr

for selfish reasons can I pleaseeeeee do 31. and ask show/movie recs or your faves because I need new recs !!

I swear the lack of asks was not malicious intent 🫶

get to know me

i knowwwww i was just overreacting bc i was cold and wet and waiting outside my polling place scared. y'all are fiiiiine.

31. free pass (show/movie recs)

i am so rlly sorry to let you know that i am the WORST person to ask this kind of question to bc (as my friends like to say) i am bad at consuming media. i have a really really hard time watching movies bc my brain is broken in a "this is not a productive use of two hours" way? and same thing for shows with plot. i also have the general fucked up attention span that a lot of people in my generation have, which makes it hard to sit through things. i'll give you what i've got but i cannot even pretend that this is high-quality stuff !! you were warned !!

i really love documentaries, so a lot of my favorite media is in that realm. i love learning things. my favorites are FYRE (Netflix fyre fest doc), Athlete A (USA Gymnastics abuse thing), and Shiny Happy People (the Duggars). I've also watched Blackfish about a thousand times and this one doc Pray Away that gave me a borderline panic attack the first time i watched it, but mostly bc it was just like... really A Lot for me (we're going full exvangelical trauma dump tonight in the answers to this ask game for some reason).

if you're looking for movies that are NOT documentaries i am so so sorry to report that my favorite movie is National Treasure and i haven't watched anything new other than hallmark christmas movies in probably years. i saw the Barbie movie in summer of 2023 and it was the first movie i'd paid for since Frozen 2 in 2019.

for TV shows, it's a lottttt of reality TV for me. I've seen every episode of Catfish: The TV Show as well as Ghost Hunters and Ghost Adventures. I watched three full seasons of Sister Wives while writing anybody, nowhere. I went through a big Project Runway and ANTM phase during early COVID. also binged Love Is Blind as most of us did in 2020 and beyond.

TV shows with plots!!! Bones. it's the only love plot in any media that has ever made me cry. i know it's like... not scientifically correct but idgaf, it's whatever. Glee? unironically, glee is THE THING that began my political conversion. it was the first genuine gay rep i'd ever seen. also i've not talked about this bc it's extremely off-brand but i WAS a theater kid in college. outside of that, i'll go weird fixation mode and watch the entire first season of something before giving up - victims of this phenomenon are One Tree Hill, Desperate Housewives, American Horror Story, Criminal Minds, 90210 and Vampire Diaries. none of which i rlly recommend.

sorry i am so extremely unhelpful. really the only thing i watch is sports (F1 obviously but also MLB, NFL, NBA, WNBA, about every college sport that exists including some you've probably never heard of) and those few reality TV shows that i loop.

i feel awful for this answer. like it will keep me up at night. i'm so so so so so sorry.

[survey--s]

684.

1 - Who was the last person to knock on your door? Were they there to see you?  A delivery driver - she had a parcel for my husband.

2 - Have you left the house yet today? If not, do you have plans to leave the house later on?  We're pretty much snowed in but I've been in the garden to play with Archie a few times. It's so surreal. We have about a foot of snow outside and all the roads in/out of our town are totally blocked off.

3 - What’s your favourite brand of chocolate? What type of chocolate bar from that brand is your favourite?  Lindt or Milka. I like the red Lindt bars or the plain Milka. I used to love the strawberry one but you can't really find it here very easily.

4 - Have you ever met someone in person who you first met on the internet? Do you have plans to do that anytime soon? Yeah, my husband and a few others too - both friends and dates. I have no plans for that anytime soon, though.

5 - What was the last thing you used a blender for?  Either to make soup or a smoothie.

6 - Have you ever got into an argument with a stranger on social media? Do you remember what it was about?  I like to call them healthy debates lol. And probably all sorts of things, to be honest. It's an easy way to pass the time.

7 - When was the last time you cracked your joints? Is that something you do often?  Just now, and yeah, multiple times a day.

8 - What time is it right now? If you weren’t doing a survey, what else would you be doing right now?  It's 5.40pm and well, not much as we're snowed in and there's nowhere to go and nothing to do. It's also pitch black outside.

9 - If you had ten minutes to run around an empty supermarket and fill your trolley for free, what’s the first aisle you’d go for?  Anything long-lasting - probably soft drinks, toiletries, canned goods.

10 - Aside from Tumblr, what websites do you visit the most and why?  Facebook - just because, I guess.

11 - Has COVID had any impact on your Christmas plans this year? What’s going to change or be different to normal?  No, COVID isn't really a "thing" anymore. I mean, I know it still exists but everyone just treats it as another winter bug rather than anything that needs to have separate rules.

12 - What’s your favourite flavour of cake? Are you any good at making that kind of cake?  Carrot cake, coffee & walnut or Victoria Sponge. I can bake but I don't really enjoy it as it creates loads of mess and washing up lol.

13 - Do you prefer sweet or sour candy? Sour.

14 - What colour is your favourite fruit? Is this a fruit you eat often?  Pink and not really, as they're so expensive. I do buy frozen raspberries sometimes but they don't taste the same.

15 - Is your favourite restaurant an independent place or a chain? What is it that you love about it so much?  They're all independent places. I just love the food I guess, and the atmosphere and service.

16 - Are you genuinely a fan of Starbucks or do you think it’s all hype?  I like it. We don't have one anywhere near us, though.

17 - Do you own a Christmas jumper? What design/pattern does it have on it?  Yeah, one has penguins and the other has beagles in Christmas hats.

18 - What’s your favourite fit/style of jeans?  Dark skinny jeans.

19 - What was the last non-essential item you spent money on?  Candles.

20 - Are you currently under any COVID-related restrictions where you live? Are people generally following the rules?  No, there haven't been any restrictions here for over two years now.

21 - What did you last leave the room you’re in to do?  To go for a wee and to check the weather. It's still bloody snowing.

22 - Have you ever read any self-help books? Did you find them useful?  No, they're not really my cup of tea.

23 - What’s your favourite programme on the Food Network (if you watch it)? If you don’t get that channel, what’s your favourite food/cookery show in general?  Restaurant Impossible but only the early seasons. I'm not really a fan of the later ones for some reason. I also like Worst Cooks in America but I'm not sure what network that is.

24 - Do you still watch cartoons?  I watch The Simpsons but again, early seasons only.

25 - Who do you know with the most number of siblings? Would you ever want to live in a huge family?  Both my parents were one of six and Mike was one of five. Personally I always wanted a brother but I'm happy enough as an only child. I find the idea of big family gatherings really stressful, haha.

26 - Are you a fan of garlic bread? YES. I’m just a huge fan of garlic generally. <–Same. I put it in everything. <--- haha, yep.

27 - Do you own any personalized clothing? What’s the reason for getting it?  Nope.

28 - Is anyone else in the same room as you right now? What is that person up to?  No, Mike is upstairs watching a movie with Toby. The dog is asleep next to me and the other cats are in the box by the radiator.

29 - What colours are you wearing right now? Does your wardrobe contain a lot of those colours?  Grey, black, red and cream and yes, I guess so!

30 - Do you like adding condiments to your food? If so, what are some of your favourites?  Yeah - I don't have a favourite as it depends what food I'm eating.

[100dayproductivity]

Day 13/100.

Well, I started this post yesterday, hoping it would motivate me to accomplish something before the end of the day, but it did not. Here's as far as I got:

Still so tired but I'll try to at least get started on the next project.

So my kitchen cabinets have been trimmed with crown moulding. I've never been a fan of it (the house came with this kitchen when I moved into it, the cabinets were not my choice). I've always wondered whether I'd like the cabinets better without the moulding or if it would look worse (I really don't care for the cabinets generally). The cabinets are really not the right style to go with crown moulding.

I wasn't sure how difficult it would be to remove the moulding. Turns out, not that difficult at all. I started removing them a few weeks ago, before I started this Tumblog.

The most time-consuming part of the process is cleaning the tops of the cabinets. It's really difficult/impossible to clean behind the moulding and you can't even see anything unless you get a ladder and practically crawl up there. With the moulding removed, I can see everything. A couple of decades worth of dust and sticky cooking grease residue. Disgusting.

The blue arrow is pointing to the section of cabinet that has had the moulding removed. The tops are now cleeean 😊

The red arrows are pointing to the crown moulding. This is what I plan to continue on with removing.

Alright. So new day, new me. Here's a closer look at the section of cabinet I want to work on next.

First, I'll need to take everything down from there, and while I'm at it, I want to do a purge.

For instance, there's this bottle of moonshine.

It's a type of Hungarian-style liquor called pálinka. It's normally made with orchard fruit, such as peaches, plums, cherries, apples or pears. This one was made with caraway seeds. Different.

Anyway, long story short, it's not good. But I feel bad just throwing it down the drain. I'm not sure what proof it is, or was, but it was pretty strong. Like, 40% alcohol content at least, but hard to say since it was homemade. (Not by me; I won it at a community fundraising silent auction. And for the record, it tasted nice when I first opened it, but after a week the essence was gone and it just tasted like diluted rubbing alcohol.) Pálinka can be anywhere from 40-70% ABV (alcohol by volume). Can it be used as a disinfectant?

Which brings me to one of my covid lockdown projects. Homemade pine cleaner. (Lol. Remember when we had all kinds of time on our hands?)

So... way back in 2020, during the Christmas holidays, I came into the possession of a real Christmas tree. I am firmly in camp Real Trees Are Bad, so I never buy one. But a neighbour ended up with two because of a clerical error. It got passed to another neighbour, who then offered it to me. It was an enormous tree!

Now, because I'm in camp Real Trees Are Bad, I was determined to make the most of this tree's ultimate sacrifice. I used the branches I trimmed off to decorate my front porch railings. After fresh snow fell, it was just lovely.

I kept the tree up for a few weeks, past Orthodox Christmas on January 7th (I am not an Orthodox Christian, I celebrate Christmas on December 25th).

After I finally took the tree down, I cut it up and made a decorative winter planter out of the trunk (cut into three pieces) and most of the branches.

I was left with some smaller sprigs and loose needles. I put those in a large pickle jar, poured vinegar over it, and stuck it in the back of the fridge. Later I added some grapefruit peel to it. And then I let it do its thing. And sort of forgot about it.

Occasionally when the fridge was nearly empty, I'd see the pine needle jar sitting there at the back and consider doing something about it, but I wasn't really sure what the next step was. So I just left it. That's what I usually do when I'm not sure about what to do with something.

In the meantime, I would also look at the bottle of moonshine pálinka and consider what to do with it, and I thought, "Should I add the moonshine to the pine cleaner?" I would feel better about that than just dumping it out.

And so now here we are today. I'm finally going to do something about the pine cleaner.

It smells VERY strong. I put on an N95 mask and a cloth mask over top of that. I wore gloves (is this stuff toxic??) And I used tools that will not be used for food in the future: a plastic container from the recycling bin, an old mug with a broken handle, disposable wooden chopsticks, old rags, a small piece of screen door/window mesh.

I used the chopsticks to take the grapefruit peel and sprigs out of the jar, and the mesh to strain out the rest. I put the mesh over the plastic container and scooped mugfuls out of the jar. Then put the mesh over the mouth of the jar and poured it all back in for a second pass.

And voilà!

Now I'm going to put it back in the fridge and let it sit for another two years while I think about what the next step is. 😂🤣

[thepolycarbonateshape]

The longest journeys begin with a simple step

Or: How I attempt to not come off as the ramblings of a madcap shambleton (but I'm going to anyway).

2020 was a year wasn't it? I can distinctly remember having dinner with a friend in November of 2019 before seeing Tool in concert for Fear Inoculum. It was a big night, first time Tool had toured since there previous album in 2006. My friend and I had fought a freshly incoming winter storm and met up after work at a brewery restaurant at the docks. He was telling me about how he had just met this girl and had really kicked it off, they are still dating to this day :), and how he had big plans for 2020. I said I was the same, I had spent the years since graduating college in 2017 attempting to find a job, find a job, be fired from that job to be rehired in a different department at the same company, been promoted to do a job that disappeared within a month of my promotion (luckily I maintained my paygrade) to becoming part of a revival project for the job I was originally hired for in 2017 and let go in 2018. To say it was a roller-coaster would be to put it lightly. Meanwhile, my lovely girlfriend (who I will refer to many ways but not her name), decided that she wanted to go back to school in Fall of 2018. A decision I wasn't 100% behind (tbh I may have only been 40% at best) but one she wanted to do, so she did.

All this had left me in a bit of a haze for 2 years. Going from thing to thing, keeping my head above water. But now, on this snowy night in 2019, I could see 2020 as the beginning of a new chapter in my life, I was going to be a better person, a better boyfriend, a better friend, a better ME. Well I left that meal feeling confident in the months to come and the new decade that would await me.

But as the world so often does, it had other plans.

The COVID-19 pandemic was a hard time for all. I admittedly got through it rather unharmed. Loved ones did not pass, I maintained my employment through it all and because I still lived at home with my parents and brother who had been shipped back from school, I wasn't alone. I had hard moments however, I was separated from the woman I loved and family who I worried about. I know many people had it worse, and I pray for them all now as much as I do now.

The period of 2020-2022 was also a time for spiritual realignment for me. I took a part time job working on my church's weekly services which were being uploaded to Youtube and eventually took on the position of the head of their AV Team. It made me more aware of church as a whole, and how I could find my own way to be "holy" that didn't align directly with what I had grown up learning. Even now its important to me, I haven't been since Christmas, but its something I'm working on.

Which leads me to the reason I created this account, this blog and why I am writing all of this down. In January of 2020, a video came out that I did not feel immediately resonate with me, but has stewed at the back of my mind. This one to be exact

I can't say why it didn't click with me when I watched it originally, but probably because in January 2020, I thought I knew better. But that was then, and this is now.

In October 2022, the women I wanted to live with and I found a apartment together and moved it. It was a hectic time as she was finishing the school she began in Fall of 2018 and moving is a process still at the best of times. Regardless of what happened, we did it! We moved in and I have happily living with the woman I live with.

This cuts to now, and in an admittedly roundabout way, why I am doing this. 2023 is going to be themed as my year of "Self-Improvement". I am going to be attempting to take every chance to improve ME and this blog will assist me.

I've never been good at journaling, probably because I can't print well and writing in cursive has never worked, so I just get frustrated. However this feels like a perfect little way to write down what I'm feeling/doing/improving/failing/succeeding without needing to keep a physical journal.

I doubt this will become popular, if even one person were to come across this blog and find it helpful, that would be enough for me. I am writing to the audience of ME, I want this to be a feedback loop for me. My goal is to try and post something everyday (something I will most likely fail at) and never fully stop. Even if I fall, I will pick myself back up and still strive towards that theme: Self-Improvment.

I do apologize if my writing style is fucky, I've never been good with words, and most of the time I write as I speak. As it says at the beginning, I will most likely come off as the ramblings of a madcap shambleton.

I hope you enjoy going on this little journey with ME

[bitchesgetriches]

hellooooo my friends. asking for some PTO advice here. I am a healthy individual working at an agency with what are considered good benefits. this year, I got COVID (mildly) and took off a few days sick, and I had a few dentist appointments I needed to attend. I got normal-sick a couple weeks ago, and I took off a decent amount of time because i was feverish and needed to rest. But I worked on-and-off while i was recovering, so didn't take full sick days off except for one or two days, I just used some hours to "patch" the day when I was too ill/tired to work. SO..... i just went to enter my hours for this week..... and i have 1.75 hours of sick leave left for the entire year of 2022, BEFORE subtracting the sick time from this week (which will put me in the negatives). IT'S AUGUST! we are encouraged to use our "Health and Wellness PTO" for illness, dentist/eye/doctor/anything appointments, therapy and mindful/mental health breaks, covid vaccinations, taking care of loved ones, taking care of pet health needs, etc.... but we have 10 days for all of that over a 365 day year. how is it possible for a person to be human and not go over that sick time limit? what do you recommend that i do in this situation? last year i went over my sick time by a few days because I was using some for a recurring therapy appointment... I asked my manager about it, and my manager asked HR about it, and HR said I had to give up vacation days to pay for it (but they generously took one day off of my "debt"). So I was working until the day before Christmas Eve. After that, I learned to work an hour late on therapy days instead of using any of my "Wellness Time" to attend mental health appointments.... but now I've gone over my wellness time without any recurring appointments, just from being sick.

If no one brought HR's attention to this, I don't think it would be an issue - I think the year would pass with no discipline. But my manager can be micro-manage-y, and last week when I was sick he told me I should check my PTO to make sure that I'm not going over. I'm worried that he's going to essentially narc on me in the interest of "doing things right", even if HR wouldn't normally bring it to anyone's attention or get me "in trouble" for it, just because I made the mistake of asking him about it last year and put it on his radar. heelllppppp i hate this situation and i don't even know how to do my time entry for this week 😭😭😭 thank you very much for your time and advice <3

File this one under "reasons why unlimited PTO is the only humane way to run a business," kiddo.

This really sucks. It's fucking dire. But it's not the end of the world. First, I recommend you get ahead of your micromanaging manager on this. Go to him FIRST to explain your situation. It'll look way better for you at HR if he doesn't "narc" on you.

Next, let's get creative. It sounds like working an extra hour outside normal work hours has been an option in the past. So bring that to your manager and HR as a solution! You can't help getting sick, and in these times of A LITERAL PLAGUE, they should be thanking you for not coming in while sick. So frame it like that and the least they can do is let you make up the time you missed so you're not cutting into your PTO.

Next... update that resume and keep looking for a new job, sweet pea. There's always somewhere better. Find that place without a narc of a boss and a rigid HR department.

Should You Trust Your Human Resources Department? 

Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment 

[the-penalty-box-imagines]

Mistletoe Magic

Author: Mila Player/Team: Cale Makar - Colorado Avalanche Prompt: #10 - Mistletoe Requested: Yes    No   || Word Count: 1107    ||   Rating: Pg

TW: None! A/N: i'm back!! i've been obsessing over cale lately so have this :) let's just pretend this one takes place in pre (or post) covid times lmao also requests are open, so send me asks for imagines/ships/etc.!

"I'm so sorry I was late! There was an accident on the highway, and I-" you said through ragged breaths. "Hey, calm down! It's okay. You didn't miss anything. Just take a moment to breathe, though. I don't want you passing out on me," your best friend Cale grabbed your shoulders and gently squeezed them to try and stabilize you. Little did he know that it only made you feel weaker. You smiled painfully and tried to catch your breath while he took your coat. The Avs were having a Christmas auction where bidders could buy some of the guys' old stuff - sticks, pucks, jerseys, the works. All of the proceeds were going to the children's hospital. While the guys, of course, had to be there, they were also encouraged to bring their significant others or friends. According to Cale, they were told to "invite as many people as possible". The more people attending, the more money to donate to the charity. Plus, nothing helps publicity more than a nice wholesome family vibe. While you weren't family or Cale's significant other, you were his best friend. And to be honest, there was no one he would have rather invited that night. The dress code was formal, so you were wearing a gorgeous dark green outfit that complimented your skin and hair colors perfectly. Per your request, you had coordinated outfits beforehand with Cale, so he looked absolutely dashing in a dark black suit with a green tie to match the same deep green as your outfit. Once you'd shrugged your coat off, Cale held out his elbow and you gently took it. "What a gentleman you are, Cale," you said with a grin. "I can be when I try," he responded, and you giggled. He led you to a table where you had some snacks and drinks. Champagne, wine, and beer were all available. Cale had a bottle of beer and you decided on a glass of champagne. Neither of you would know the difference between a high quality brand of alcohol or a low quality one, but it didn't make much difference. Sitting there with Cale, drinking and looking fabulous, you felt so very happy. He didn't know, but you had been crushing on him hard for three or so years. You wanted to say something many times, but you just couldn't bring yourself to actually do it. Instead, you just laughed at his jokes and spent as much time with him as possible - without being weird. Now that he was playing for the Avs, he was gone much more frequently than he used to be and finding quality time to spend together was hard, especially in the winter. You were more than overjoyed when Cale had asked you to be his date to the Avs charity auction. After snacking and sitting through the auction, Cale left you alone to take some pictures and sign some merch for the fans who attended. You talked with some of the other players' partners and then just rested at the table until Cale returned. When he got back, some games and a little bit of dancing had broken out. He offered you his hand, and you took it. "Want to play Connect 4?" he asked, and you laughed. "Not particularly. Do you want to play cornhole?" "Not particularly," now it was his turn to laugh. You had been too busy to notice the group of Cale's friends standing in front of you, but when they started hooting and hollering you turned your head. It was Nathan, Gabe, and Mikko. You awkwardly waved as Cale introduced you and said hello. “So, are you gonna follow the rules or give us all bad luck?” Gabe asked with a chuckle. “What are you talking about?” Cale asked with a laugh, and Gabe pointed above you. You followed his finger to see a tiny sprig of mistletoe hanging above your heads. It was taped to the ceiling with white hockey tape, which made you giggle. You glanced down at Cale to realize he was also taking in the meaning of everything. You were standing under the mistletoe. Both of you. And now both of you were flushing furiously. Cale’s pink cheeks were now a deep shade of burgundy, and you imagined yours weren’t far away on the color spectrum. You folded your arms across your chest and avoided eye contact while the boys roasted Cale. Eventually, you gained

enough courage to lift your eyes. You met his own, and he sheepishly grinned. “Well…if it’s bad luck…” he said and stepped closer to you. You couldn’t move, your feet firmly planted on the ground. When his hand cupped your cheek and the other slid around your waist, you felt your body go even stiffer, if that was possible. He gently leaned down and pressed his soft lips against yours. They were slightly cold, but thanks to your burning embarrassment it was a welcome temperature change. You pressed back against him and let your hands rest on his chest. As his lips began to pull away and head turn down, you felt yourself moving further into him. When he finally broke away, you noticed his moment of hesitation before the air cleared between you. You heard the boys even though your eyes were closed. They let out a chorus of “oohs” and “awwwws”. When you finally let yourself look, you saw Cale standing across from you with the biggest smile on his face. You had both felt that the kiss was special, and you had the urge to tell him. You had to tell him now, before this moment was ruined or expired. You reached out and grabbed his hand, but as you opened your mouth he spoke first. “I like you,” he said, and you started. Before you had a chance to respond, he continued. “I really like you, and I have for a while. I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long. And I want to kiss you again and again and again. If you’ll let me.” You hesitantly glanced toward the hoard of grown men watching your drama like it was a reality tv show or an episode of The Bachelor. “Of course I’ll let you, dummy. I would want nothing more than for you to kiss me for the rest of my life!” you finally responded and threw yourself into his arms. He squeezed you tight, gleeful laughs spilling out of your lungs. As he twirled you around, you only laughed harder when you saw the puppy dog expressions plastered all over the boys’ faces. Mistletoe really is magic.

[coffeewithcalypso]

My 21 year old brother got engaged to last night to his girlfriend that he started dating ON CHRISTMAS. And now like a we got engaged quick but are doing a long engagement thing. He wants to be married in November. I might have to go to TWO weddings for my younger siblings in less than a year  🙃 That's four out of six of my younger siblings being married. Time to move to the woods and let my cottage fall down around me while the village children tell tales of old hag who lives in the house. It's fine. I wasn't already in a weird spiral last night.

I think I'll end that there. I'm trying to learn what is for Tumblr and what is for journaling.

Got a new mouse. The down scroll on my old was broken, which is possibly the most annoying direction to be broken. In the mouse's defense it was from like 2009 (though not used for a long stretch of time). I'm very excited about it though. They put all that cool touchpad, gesture tech right into the mouse these days. And the old mouse is going get a second life with my little sister who said she doesn't need the down scroll. One thing I'll say about Apple I don't think I've had to throw away a single Apple product. They've all outlived me but been functional enough to get passed down to a younger sibling. I get like eight to ten years out of them.

Is there such a thing as one day covid so I can have an excuse not to go to Father's Day? I don't want to deal with my family and this whole engagement thing Sunday

[beforeiread-studies]

day 1/100

14.11.2022 || Hello again, it's been a while. Things have gotten a little out of hand in the last few weeks so I've decided to start another 100 days of productivity challenge because stuff is happening in my life and I neeeeeeed to focus.

I was doing pretty well until I decided to take a break from studying for a couple of days to finish knitting my hat, which turned into two weeks (such a stupid idea) (at least it's a very nice hat). Then I got a cold (not covid) and wasn't able to attend lectures for a week. So I'm VERY behind on almost everything.

Right now I'm about to take a Germanic Philology exam. Considering how I prepared for it, I'm either going to ace or epically bomb, no in between. If I don't pass, I will be able to retake it in January. So it's important that I pass but otherwise, there is always January.

And that's today. After I'm done with the exam, I will spend the rest of the week editing a video for my sis' birthday. It's her present and, dog, it's going to take a bunch of time to finish it but I will.

Once that's done, I will need to start prepping for the German exam I'll take Jan/Feb/still unclear (I have a bunch of exercise sheets to do + write an essay about I don't even know what).

Once I'm done with that, it will be time to prepare for all my other exams, which for this semester are going to be: Germanic Philology (the oral part), Italian Literature, German 2, and then...

????

Ah, right, Modern History. I forgot the name of the course I'm supposed to be attending, that's peachy.

I need to buy the manuals for Italian Lit and Modern History and ask a friend to pass me her notes for Italian Lit.

Then I'll take my exams and hopefully pass all 4 of them. Then I'll need to start working on my dissertation.

Yes, I asked a professor if she would please be my supervisor (it was SO nerve-wracking) and she agreed! We won't start working on it together until May but I want to start researching on my own before that. The subject is going to be... Drum roll, please... Pride and Prejudice fanfictions. Which is bonkers, I didn't expect any professor would take me seriously but she actually agreed!

During the second semester, I will also need to write another essay for German 3 and I think another one for Portuguese? From what I've heard about the professor? There is no point in worrying about it until after my exams are finished so let's put a lid on that.

And in March I'm supposed to look for an internship.

Oh and in the middle of all this, I'm supposed to enrol in driving school and write various short stories and knit 2 frogs before Christmas and practice German and Portuguese every day.

BUT. KEEP CALM AND DRINK TEA. Most of this stuff is very far away in the future. Let's focus on today's exam and editing that birthday video.

Well, thanks for reading, I'll see you tomorrow, I guess.